2 Things That Hinder Success

And A Few Things That Fuel It (Comedy Mindhacks #53)

In the last 18 months of this comedy grind, I’ve seen great progress and experienced some great wins. But there have been moments where I’ve also watched myself sabotage that progress in ways I didn’t expect. It all really came down to two things that kept showing up: a) comparing myself to other comedians, and b) expecting people to reciprocate when I helped them.

That comparison trap doesn’t really happen on stage for me. It happens when I’m scrolling through social media, seeing show flyers, clip reels, and gig lists. Everyone is promoting their wins, and that thought or feeling creeps in, the one that whispers, “Hey Michael, you know, they don’t deserve what they’re getting; you deserve it more.” The fact is, when I’m in that headspace, my work suffers because it takes my focus off staying in my lane and creating opportunities for myself.

But I’ve used my platform to create opportunities for others. I’ve given them exposure, helped them get gigs by connecting them with my connects, and giving them opportunities on other projects. Still, in time, the pattern has become clear: Though I’ve kept giving my platform away, people have rarely reciprocated. But here’s what I learned about that: a favor is most likely to be returned when the initial favor is done with no expectation of repayment. My point is: the problem wasn’t them, it was my expectation, and when I expect something back, I ultimately surrender control of my journey to someone else’s choices. That’s dumb!

So, I’ve had to learn to redirect that energy on both fronts. When comparison creeps in, for example, I have to remind myself that I’m genuinely happy for them or, at the very least, I should be. Also, I have to remind myself to focus on my craft and to create opportunities for myself instead of waiting for someone else to open a door. When I platform someone now, I really only ask myself one question: did I do my part? If they don’t do theirs, I live with it because, as with all things in life, I can only control what I do.

I’ve also found it helpful to measure myself not against others, but against my yesterday. Did I get a post or podcast episode out? Did I teach? Did I line up a gig, or even just try to line one up? Did I do better today than yesterday? Did I level up some? I also remind myself: this is a slow process that takes time, and I have to be patient. If I am, I know success will continue to come.

At the end of the day, comparison and expectation are invisible barriers that steal my agency away and place my success in someone else’s hands. And here’s a related point I’ve talked about before on this site: internal validation comes from within, from intrinsic motivation, while external validation is fleeting because, with extrinsic motivation, you’re relying on outside sources that wear off quickly.

So, there you go. There are two things that have sabotaged my comedy career at points. But I’ve learned from those moments. And they’ve taught me again and again the most important lesson: stay in my lane, do my part, and measure myself against my yesterday. Everything else is noise.

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