3 Tips To Crush Anxiety
Questions That Could Be Life-Changing (Comedy Mindhacks #23)
For the life of me, I can’t remember where I first heard the three questions I talk about below. I’ve searched high and low across Google, dusty books, and half-read articles without finding a single clue. So, if anyone reading this recognizes the source, please drop me a line in the comments. In the meantime, the tip is too good to let slip through the cracks, so here it is: when your anxiety spikes, whether you’re about to step on stage for stand-up or wade into a business meeting, ask yourself three simple questions drawn from the field of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
The trick here is to picture whatever you’re about to do like it’s trailer for a horror movie that’s being narrated by your inner critic. In your mind, you’re going on stage and you bomb so badly the room goes silent. You’re mortified. You’re haunted forever. Tumbleweed blows across the stage. It’s scary. BUT…once you’ve stared that worst-case nightmare in the face, it loses much of its power. So what, you bomb. But you survive! That’s right: at your worst, you survive.
What’s the best thing that could happen?
Now, do the opposite. Imagine the best. You nail every punchline. The audience hangs on your every word. You’re mobbed afterward like a rock star heading to his tour bus. You are paid handsomely. You get a glowing review in the paper the next day. And all of it inflates your ego just enough to justify that greasy double cheeseburger, fries, and Coke. Imagining this sort of high point restores your mental and emotional balance. Without it, you’d be convinced that the only possible outcome is humiliation.
What will probably happen?
This is the sweet spot. It sits right there between dread and delusion. Here you acknowledge that you’ll likely get some good laughs. But you also acknowledge that you’ll probably fumble a line or two. The crowd might remember one or two bits and promptly forget the rest. This is the realistic forecast and what it does is tame your fears and your fantasies. This keeps you grounded and calm.
This exercise, which requires asking the 3 questions (preferably in this order), works pretty much everywhere. If you’re pitching a project at work, you can imagine the worst is a polite email asking for “next steps.” Not so bad. Then you picture the best of an enthusiastic green light and public praise. Finally, you predict a likely outcome of a solid yes with a few edits.
When you’re about to tell a vulnerable story to a friend you can visualize the worst of awkward silence, the best of deep connection, and the probable mix of nods and gentle laughter. When you’re asking your kids to do something around the house, you can envision a tantrum, full obedience, then some sighing followed by a bout of hard work doing yardwork.
The point is this: anxiety loses its edge when you shine a flashlight into its darkest corners. Asking these 3 questions has a way of giving anxiety a reality check. Again, I searched high and low for the source of these questions and came up empty, but I still felt the need to share them. So, if you’re feeling the pre-show jitters or bracing for some important event, lean into these questions and crush your anxiety.