After 24-Hour Rant, Liberals Suddenly Act Like They Love Free Speech Again

(Fake News Weekly - MichaelHalcomb.Live)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senator Cory Booker spoke on the Senate floor for nearly 24 hours straight recently, a feat that left even C-SPAN interns begging for censorship. True to liberal form, the same party that effectually coined the term “hate speech” and tried banning words like “mother” and “freedom,” have flipped and are now demanding unlimited speech rights, but only when they’re the ones doing the talking. One exhausted aide whispered, “I guess this proves free speech should exist; so we can all tell him to shut up!”

Booker’s monologue reportedly covered civil rights, climate change, 8th grade poetry he found in a drawer, and an interpretive reading of his Whole Foods receipt. The same people who once tried to ban comedians for making edgy jokes are now applauding a filibuster that feels like watching a TED Talk held hostage by a theater kid with a political science degree. Booker ended hour 23 by applauding himself for finding the strength to keep going, while fellow Democrats drafted emergency legislation redefining “speech” as sacred, as long as it’s emotion-drenched, self-congratulatory, and has the words “diversity,” “equity,” and “inclusion” shouted every third sentence. When asked if this was hypocritical, one Democrat said, “Umm, let me check and see if we’re still allowed to say that word.”