Breaking the "Rules" of Stand-Up Comedy

I've Got One Hand In My Pocket (Comedy Mindhacks #78)

I recently sent a clip from one of my shows to a comedian friend. I thought it was a good clip and the punch hit. At one point in the clip, however, I put my right hand in my pocket. That friend of mine, who has been in the comedy world way longer than I have, texted me this after watching: “Never ever do that!” Then, not even five minutes later, a new comedian saw the same exact clip and sent a screenshot from the moment I had my right hand in my pocket. He wrote, “Bro, you’re so comfortable on stage.” Literally, these messages came in randomly and less than 5 minutes apart.

My more seasoned friend, who’s a great comedian, was concerned that, by putting my hand in my pocket, I looked anxious or closed off to the audience. The newer comedian, however, saw exactly what I intended: comfort, authenticity, and a laid-back vibe. I suppose that, because he hadn’t been raised on that rule, a holdover from older speech/speaking manuals, it hit him differently. He just saw me looking comfortable.

I bring this up because there are all sorts of unspoken rules like this in stand-up comedy. I’ve heard many of them: Never laugh at your own jokes. Never hold the mic with two hands. Never put your hands in your pockets. Never wear shorts on stage. Etc. Etc. Etc. Honestly, I think they’re all arbitrary. Here’s what I think matters: does whatever you’re doing fit your persona? If yes, do it. If no, don’t.

My hands-in-pockets action works because it fits my casual, down-to-earth persona. For someone else with a wholly different persona, it could totally look awkward or defensive. As I’ve grown, my persona has experienced numerous shifts, some of them slight some of them great. When I first started, I was thinking along the lines of “The Professor of Everything Messed-Up.” Then it shifted to “Professor of Finding Set-Ups In Mess-Ups,” which seemed like a good fit. Then it shifted to the “Good Guy Who Aways Gets Screwed Over.” Another shift was “The No-B.S. Bible Scholar.” And there’ve been others. At the moment, I’ve landed on “The Chief Mess-Up” / “The Chief of Mess-Ups.”

None have felt as at-home as that current one. It fits well with my joke writing philosophy: “If it’s messed-up, it’s material.” It fits well with one of my slogans: “Messed-Up But Blessed-Up.” It fits with my podcast name: “Messed-Up To Set-Ups.” And the podcast theme song’s lyrics are: “Everything seems so messed-up, yeah, everything’s messed-up. But we’re going from our mess-ups, to the next set-up…” And my whole persona is rooted in who I am and how I really think about things: I’m a messed-up dude with a whole lot of messed-up things that’ve happened to me in this messed-up world. And, so, I joke about those messed-up things. And, in doing so, I tap into my agenda: to give people permission to laugh at their mess-ups and messed-up lives, too. (And I can’t help but smile at how “The Chief Mess-Up” or “The Chief of Mess-Ups” is a head nod to one of my heroes, the Apostle Paul, who called himself “The Chief of Sinners.”)

Last night, I watched Nate Bargatze come on to Bill Maher’s show “Real Time” as a guest. Unsurprisingly, Bargatze never broke character, he never violated his persona. That’s because his persona is him. (That’s also part of the reason why he was 2024’s highest-grossing comic - because authenticity connects!)

The comedy world teaches rules. And they often teach them as universal commandments. I think many do this because it’s what they were taught. But I also think many do this because it’s easier to teach general rules for many people than it is to help each student discover their persona. Put differently: Rules you can give to a group. Persona is personal.

Finding the persona of each person in a group takes time. It’s way easier to give absolutes and blanket statements that are generic. But, honestly, that’s just a teaching shortcut. It’s not a path to authenticity. My more season comedian friend that I mentioned earlier called me and we talked about this. His take, which I appreciated, was, “You gotta learn the rules before you can break ‘em.” I agree…mostly.

My view is that rigidly following all these rules while you’re developing as a comedian can actually prevent you from discovering your authentic persona in the first place. You can become a kind of comedy robot, rather than a vulnerable comedian. So, here’s my rule: Nail down persona. Get as detailed about it as possible. Then, see if the jokes fit with it. From there, see if what’s take place on stage fits with it. Whatever you do, do what fits with your persona.