Democrats Refuse to Cheer for Boy Who Survived Brain Surgery

(Fake News Weekly - MichaelHalcomb.Live)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—During this week’s State of the Union address, young DJ Daniel, a boy who bravely underwent brain surgery and who has long had dreams of becoming a police officer, was met with tepid silence from Democrats as Republicans rose to applaud him. Daniel, whom President Trump named an Honorary Secret Service Agent, has spent his young life overcoming adversity. That didn’t matter to Democrats, however, who remained seated, reportedly saving their energy in case the next honoree happened to be a child undergoing gender reassignment surgery. “If only he had made a more progressive medical decision,” whispered one congressional aide.

Several Democrats were later caught awkwardly clapping after realizing they were being filmed. “Look, we’re all for courage,” one member stated, “but real bravery is when a child announces their pronouns on TikTok.” At press time, sources confirmed that if DJ Daniel had instead identified as Danielle and demanded hormone blockers, he would’ve received a teary-eyed standing ovation and been immediately nominated for an Honorary Doctorate in Gender Studies at some useless Ivy League school.