Drones Over Jersey Disappointed In Findings

(Fake News Weekly - MichaelHalcomb.Live)

TRENTON, NJ—In what experts are calling the least surprising crisis of the year after the Jets’ 3-10 season, a swarm of mysterious drones descended on New Jersey this week. “We’re not saying it’s aliens,” said spokesperson Marla Denning, “but if it is, they’ve now got a lot of data about how not to run a civilization.” The sudden appearance of these car-sized drones has left locals grappling with one question: Why New Jersey? Some are speculating that the drones just got lost trying to escape Cleveland or maybe Detroit. Former Governor, Chris Christie, was shocked when he looked into the sky and saw flying objects bigger than himself. He then said, “I’m hungry. Do those things Door Dash?” Meanwhile, officials have assured residents there’s no reason to panic. “We’re confident these drones pose no threat,” said Denning, before admitting one had crashed while trying to parallel park in Jersey City. When questioned, the drone was livid, complaining it had been stuck in traffic for miles behind a 2002 Toyota Corolla with no working brake lights. At press time, officials warned residents to stop shooting at the drones and at each other noting, “that’s the NJPD’s job.”