Go Ahead, Ask

Simple Requests Can Change Things (Things That Matter #23)

If you want the point of this entire post without reading it in full, it’s right there in the title and right here: “Go ahead, ask.” That’s it. That’s the whole message. Now, if you’re still reading, I want to say if there’s one thing I’ve learned thus far in life, it’s the power of asking. Sometimes it’s a request for help and you get an immediate and resounding ‘yes’. And sometimes, it’s a ‘no’ but that’s not always bad. Sometimes the ‘no’ is a blessing in disguise. And sometimes, when you make your request known, a door opens that you didn’t even know existed.

Recently I had to ask my employer for help on an important matter under a very tight time crunch. It was an I-know-I’m-going-to-get-on-my-boss’s-nerves kinda thing but I had to do it. Everything in me resisted doing it. I drafted the message. I prayed. I looked for other options. Finally, I just asked. And it worked. Because of that one ask, things shifted. It wouldn’t have happened if I had stayed quiet and hoped someone could read my mind which, by the way, is a skill my wife thinks she has mastered.

I tell my daughter all the time, when she’s driving her friends around, to ask for gas money. She never does. Meanwhile, she comes home with an empty tank and I’m on the hook for the bill. She’ll be like, “They got my lunch!” and I’m like, “What about my lunch? They didn’t give me anything. I’m the one paying here.” But I get it: asking feels awkward, especially when you’re young. You don’t want to seem needy. You don’t want to appear as though you can’t even afford gas. But something else I’ve learned: life can’t be run on vibes and affirmations. Ask for the gas money already! Ask-tell if you have to.

I wanted a spot in a certain comedy show recently. I waited for a while, thought about it, told myself maybe they’d notice me, maybe someone would recommend me. They didn’t. So finally, I just asked. I sent a quick message. I didn’t grovel. I didn’t beg. I didn’t even use emojis. And guess what? I got the spot. If I hadn’t asked, I’d still be on the sidelines waiting even longer.

The truth is, most of us are willing to help others without being asked. It’s just instinct. I saw a car wreck at a busy four-way stop recently. No major injuries, just glass and panic and two bumpers lying in the intersection. I parked, ran over, helped both drivers pick up car bits from the road and asked if they were okay. One driver was a young woman and the other an older gentleman. He seemed pissed at her. I reminded them, “You’re both okay. That’s the best scenario here. It’s called an accident for a reason.” The comment seemed to reset him and he instantly became gentler and warmer toward her. I was helping her but also him. And it all started with helping pick up the pieces.

But no one asked me to help. I just did it. And out of all the cars around, no one else budged. Except for this one guy on a moped. He hopped off and joined me. We were jogging back to our rides and he yelled, “You inspired me! You’re awesome!” And I said, “I know.” (Just kidding; I didn’t say that!) Then I got in my car, rolled the windows up, and cried like a local hero who can’t fit in a cape anymore.

My point is: if people are willing to help without being asked, how much more when you actually do ask. Jesus even says it: “Ask and you shall receive.” He doesn’t say “Hint aggressively and hope someone notices.” He tells a story about a son asking his dad for something and the dad helps him out. And Jesus is like, “If that’s what your regular, flawed earthly dad would do, how much more your Heavenly Father?” How often are you asking God for help?

Asking God first is a great habit to get into. I mean, look, I love my kids, and I still flinch every time they say “Can I ask you something?” But God doesn’t flinch. He welcomes it. Asking takes guts. It takes humility. It’s us saying, “I can’t do this all on my own.” This goes against just about everything the world is constantly screaming toward us, particularly, “Be independent. Be self-made. Be unbothered.”

Meanwhile God says, “Nope. Be in need. Be in community. Be brave enough to admit it.” Now, this doesn’t mean you have to be that person who’s always asking for stuff. You know the kind I’m talking about, don’t you? The person who can’t say hello without also saying, “So, listen, I need a favor.” That’s not asking, that’s just living as a perpetual GoFundMe campaign. But when you truly need something, ask.

Ask for help. Ask for a shot. Ask for a second chance. Ask for forgiveness. Ask for the opportunity. Ask to be included. Ask to be trained. Ask for prayer. Ask to be seen. The worst that can happen is someone says no. The best that can happen is your whole life opens up a little more. So go ahead, ask.