Liberals Declare War on Musk

(Fake News Weekly - MichaelHalcomb.Live)

SAN FRANCISCO—After months of Elon Musk exposing government corruption, liberals have finally had enough of all the honesty already. In retaliation against government transparency, probably many of the same actors who formed Antifa and BLM and are funded by some of the wealthiest leftists ideologues in the world, are launching a full-scale attack on all things Musk-owned, including Cybertrucks, Teslas, and X (formerly Twitter).

Critics say Musk’s real crime isn’t his electric vehicles or rocket launches—it’s allowing people to say things without permission and make memes. “If we don’t control the narrative, democracy dies,” said one anonymous source from an unmarked government agency. “And by democracy, we really just mean us never getting caught.” In a stunning act of retaliation, left-wing activists incapable of recognizing irony have reportedly declared Teslas to be ‘radicalized vehicles’ and are demanding they be banned from roads, citing concerns that their autopilot might accidentally drive someone somewhere to have a free-thinking conversation with someone else.

Meanwhile, sources say liberal millionaires and billionaires are resorting to their favorite cost-effective strategy: paying people to act like terrorists. “Legal fees are expensive,” admitted one insider. “But hiring a mob with masks and fireworks? Way cheaper.” That same insider reported, “Liberals will pay top dollar to fight for their corruption to stay hidden, and they will do it with the same vigor they fight for drag shows in elementary schools. They will protest violently for Palestine just to make America look like Palestine. They will fight tooth and nail for their right to contradict themselves at every possible turn.” At press time, Cybertruck owners were advised to check for activists using liberal logic who glued themselves to Cybertruck windshields in protest and then cried because they realized they were stuck to the very thing they claimed to hate.