Nancy Pelosi Apologizes to German Stairs After Tragic Fall

(Fake News Weekly - MichaelHalcomb.Live)

BERLIN—In an effort to outdo Joe Biden’s balance, former Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, fell down a flight of stairs in Germany this week, immediately sparking headlines and heartfelt apologies—to the stairs. “While it’s true that I fell,” Pelosi announced from her hospital bed, “I must acknowledge the systemic oppression stairs have endured as tools of structural inequality.” Pelosi’s aides confirmed that she would, in due course, bow the knee (once it heals) to the German stair lobby in a personal gesture of reconciliation. Witnesses say Pelosi stormed the staircase with “unprecedented aggression.” Hans von Stepper, a representative of the German Stairs Union, noted, “She came at us like it was January 6th.” Experts speculated the stairs buckled under the weight of Pelosi’s policy legacy and decades of unspent outrage. In response, Pelosi demanded a DEI seminar for users of the staircase, arguing “These steps have been oppressed. And we must do what we can to help these steps lift all people equally.”