Quitting & Stand-Up Comedy

Sometimes Quitting's Exactly What You Need (Comedy Mindhacks #71)

When you’re growing up, everyone tells you not to quit: teachers, coaches, parents, and so on. But here’s what they don’t mention: some things need to be quit immediately. That’s right, immediately! I’m talking about behaviors that eat away at your time and energy, self-defeating patterns that block you from doing the actual work, much less the work that counts and matters in life.

I’ve had to quit many things in stand-up comedy. For instance, I’ve had to quit hating on others’ success. I’d see another comedian land a gig I wanted and think, “They’re not even funny. I’m way better.” That was jealousy talking and, even though I didn’t realize it at the time, it was absolutely stifling and killing my progress. I mean, workplace jealousy is common, and many people don’t really suspect it amongst comedians. Wrong!

The fact is, when I was stuck in comparison mode, I just kept feeling sorry for myself. In turn, I stopped doing work. So, instead of reaching out to bookers, networking with other comedians, or inviting successful performers on my podcast, I sat there doing nothing but brooding. Comparing myself with others blocked me from doing the exact kinds of things that would get me on those shows.

So, I stopped. Instead, I started treating my mind like a conversion machine. Jealousy goes in one end and a desire to learn comes out the other. When I see show flyers for comedians now, I’ll sometimes message the comedian to congratulate them. I’m genuinely happy for them. But I’ll also treat it as an opportunity to learn from them. So, I might ask for the booker’s contact, ask how I could go about getting on the show, and so on.

Networking like this is huge. Who you know is vastly important. And I treat every networking and connecting opportunity as a chance to learn. I look for what I can learn about how others are landing gigs and getting views and writing jokes. But, friends, here’s the really secret sauce: this really only works because I view myself, first and foremost, as a student of comedy. I’m a student of comedy first and a comedian second. And that’ll never change.

This is so important because, after one open mic, a lot of people declare themselves comedians on social media and other places. Ugh. That’s just clout chasing. But being a student, a real student, and even more, viewing myself as a student first, requires humility. It means there’s always something to learn from everyone, even from their failures.

Now, someone might ask, “So, Michael, how do you know if you’re getting better without comparing yourself to others?” Simple: compare myself today to myself yesterday. That’s it. No need to compare myself to anyone else. Ever. Am I better today than yesterday? That’s the only comparison I need. Did I learn today? Did I read, write, watch, study?

There was a huge and unexpected payoff when I quit jealousy, comparison, and hating on others’ success. It was this: comedy stopped being competitive. What a relief! It allowed me to be genuinely happy for other comedians and their successes. My point is: strategic quitting freed me up. It freed up my mental energy, for example, to focus on actual skill development. It freed me up to quit the behaviors that poisoned my progress, things like working venues I didn’t want to work, accepting advice I didn’t ask for, and compromising to advance. In the end, I realized that the real competition in stand-up was never other comedians; it was my own self-defeating mindset. I’m better off for quitting these things. And I think my teachers, coaches, and others would agree.

JOKE WRITING COURSE: By the way, if you have any interest at all in learning about your persona, how to write some jokes, or doing stand-up comedy, check out my online joke writing course, “The Joke Writer’s Lab,” HERE.