Showing Up Matters
Reflections on Losing a Pet & Stand-Up Comedy
As with any job, in comedy some days at work are easier than others to give your all to. When you performing in front of a packed room or a loud crowd with energy bouncing off the walls, in those kinds of moments, the laughter can really carry you. And it makes the work feels lighter precisely because the room is doing part of the lifting for you. BUT…other nights are different.
Some nights you have a small crowd and low energy. The turnout isn’t at all what you hoped for. I’ll be honest, it can be very tempting in those moments to coast or pull back. It’s easy to slip into a kind of thinking that says, “Ah, it’s just a small room; no big deal.” But I’m convinced that’s the wrong instinct and mindset. Here’s why: Because you never know who is sitting in that audience! It could be someone who can help your career later, such as a booker, promoter, or comedian who remembers how seriously you took the room. Just as importantly, it could be someone who simply needs to laugh.
That thought hit me in a very real way this week. The day before one of my shows, my dog passed away. We spent 17.5 sweet years together. She lived in numerous states, moved across the ocean, and was there for more years than not of raising my kids. Sadly, she died in a rather traumatic and unexpected way, too. And if you have ever had a dog that long, you know they become part of the family in a way that is hard to describe. The drive to the show that day was heavy for me. For hours I kept thinking about her the whole way there. I was sad. And honestly, I didn’t feel like performing at all.
But I had agreed to be there. So, I showed up. I stepped on stage. And I gave it my all. I did the best I could. And that experience reminded me of two things: First, I can do hard things even when life feels heavy. Sometimes you discover a little more about yourself simply by keeping the commitments you made when you were in a better mood. Second, just because I do not feel like working does not mean I should not work. Feelings are real, but they are not always good managers. Discipline often has to take the lead.
There’s another piece to it as well. Comedy is not only about what you get from the crowd. Sometimes it is about what you give to the crowd. Someone in that room may have needed the laughter more than I needed the stage. I always try to be mindful of that. They showed up at a comedy show for a reason: they wanted to laugh! Or, maybe they needed to laugh! Maybe someone was dealing with a separation, a loss, or just a rough week. If a few minutes of laughter helped them breathe a little easier, then the show mattered.
So, whether the room is full or thin, the principle is the same: Show up prepared. Work the room with respect and deliver the best you that night. The crowd deserves it, the booker deserves it, and you deserve to know that when you made an agreement, you honored it and you showed up. Me, I kept my commitment; I did the work, and I told the jokes. I showed up for a small room, on a heavy Thursday night, thinking about my sweet Daisy, a dog who spent her lifetime faithfully showing up for me, my wife, and my kids. Showing up matters!
- In Loving Memory of Daisy -
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