The Art of the Exchange
Why Being A "Creative" Is So Challenging (Comedy Mindhacks #80)
This comedy thing is hard work and, lately, I’ve been thinking about the amounts of time and energy I sink into it. And it’s got me reflecting on something I’ve learned the slow way, the expensive way, the hard way, and sometimes the embarrassing way: every creative act involves an exchange. Put differently: there’s always a give and a take. Time for money. Energy for exposure. Joy for exhaustion. Clarity for confusion. Confidence for doubt. And so on. Being a creative “costs” a lot and not just in the economic or financial sense, though that’s definitely part of it.
When the aforementioned types of exchanges feel uneven or unclear or quietly dishonest, I’ve learned that they don’t just sit there. They corrode! Maybe you compromised when you knew you should not have. You agreed because it felt easier than saying no. And now, because you did, everything feels off. You get restless and even the good work you do starts to feel a bit heavy. It sucks.
Something I’ve also realized and have kinda come to terms with is that restlessness doesn’t only show up when things are bad. Sometimes it shows up when things look good, too. New projects. New opportunities. Interesting people. Meaningful work. You might be learning a new skill, stretching creatively, opening doors that did not exist before, and yet…you’re still paying for it. Maybe not with money (though, again, sometimes it may be very much with money!) but with time, with margin, and stability. An exchange is still happening.
I say that realizing that choosing to accept a non-monetary return can sometimes be wise. It can sometimes be strategic, even. Some of the most important lessons I have learned came from projects that, on paper (particularly that of the checkbook), looked like failures. But the problem is not losing money. The problem is not knowing what you are getting from the exchange.
As a creative, as an artist, an author, and a comedian, for instance, I have lost money on projects and gained wisdom that later saved me from far more costly mistakes. That wisdom was, in a real sense, priceless. But it was still an exchange. And learning how to navigate those exchanges honestly and intentionally without resentment, as a comedian or any kind of artist for that matter, is harder than it sounds.
Some exchanges, for me, are simply about the work itself. The joy of it. The honor of it. If it costs, it costs. (At the start and end of the day, I’m completely fine rejecting other people’s definitions of success because I am clear on mine!) Think of the artist who turns down a high-profile, lucrative opportunity because it feels like a kind of spiritual claustrophobia. They choose, instead, to make something deeply personal for little or no pay. From the outside, that looks irrational. From the inside, it is alignment. And alignment, it turns out, is a powerful motivator.
Why even talk about all this? Because it is a surprisingly effective mindhack. Once you start identifying your exchanges and articulating what they are actually worth, you regain perspective. If you approach your work with reluctance or shame, or with the sense that it does not really matter, that posture seeps into everything downstream. And it is hard for others to step fully into what you are doing when you are halfway backing away from it yourself.
Of course, exchanges change over time. A musician plays gigs for free early on to gain experience and build an audience. That exchange makes sense for a while. But as skills sharpen and crowds grow, the old arrangement may no longer fit. Realizing that is not selfish. It is growth. And growth requires renegotiation; otherwise, what once made sense becomes quietly lopsided and, like I said above, potentially corrosive.
The real work, then, is ongoing attention. Monitoring your exchanges. Naming what you are giving and what you are receiving. Adjusting when the balance shifts. Because when life is ordered and the exchanges are honest, there is far less bitterness, far less exhaustion, and far less burnout waiting on the other side. The bottom line, which may be more of a reminder for me than anyone else out there: paying attention to your exchanges can make all the difference!
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