The Scariest Thing for a Comedian
Think You Know What It Is? (Comedy Mindhacks #58)
I can’t remember exactly where I read or heard it, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I think it came from Joan Rivers. She once said that the scariest thing for a comedian isn’t stage fright but an empty calendar. (Whether she actually said it, I suppose, doesn’t matter because the truth hits either way.)
Most people assume comedians fear the stage, but from her perspective that is not the deepest fear. The real fear is waking up with nowhere to perform, no gigs booked, no one calling. It makes sense. Stage fright is temporary. An empty calendar might be, too, but when it’s empty it’s like it constantly whispers questions you don’t want to answer: “Are you still relevant?” “Does anyone want what you offer?”
Many of us know what career insecurity feels like. It sucks. Bad. And it cuts deeper than performance anxiety. Performance anxiety has a solution: preparation and practice. But you can’t prepare your way out of no opportunities.
I’ve learned, even in my limited experience, that the entertainment industry can be brutal. Every gig could be the one that leads to the next one or the last one for months. And jealousy and envy are no joke. So, I have to be really intentional about the fact that when I feel jealousy creeping in, I gotta redirect it and ask: “What can I control?”
And frankly, that’s how I judge my day: by what I control. Did I write? Did I refine material? Did I reach out to venues or seek out gigs? I can’t control who books me, but I can control whether I’m ready when they do and I can get my name in front of them.
So, I think Joan Rivers had a great point because in comedy, where stage fright asks: Will this joke work? an empty calendar asks: Will I work? Look, I’ve bombed on stage, and it’s survivable. Totally survivable. I’ve also stared at an empty calendar. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing because it reminds you this work is a gift. And that’s where I’d nuance what Rivers said. Because an empty calendar isn’t just a fear; it’s also a reminder to stay grateful for the one that has dates filled in.