What More Followers Won't Fix
Is Enough Ever Enough? (Comedy Mindhacks #111)
After a show last month, a guy walked up to me, referenced a joke I’d told nearly fifteen minutes earlier, handed me a receipt he had written on the back of, and said, “There’s an extra joke on the back you can use.” He didn’t quote my punchline, and he didn’t talk about how hard he laughed at it. He probably couldn’t have told me my joke back if I had asked him to. What he remembered though was the perspective behind my joke. It hit him and stuck. We talked for a few minutes, shook hands, shared another laugh, and went our separate ways. I’ll probably never see him again. Who knows?!
Somewhere on the drive home that night, I found myself thinking about that conversation more than the set itself. Then I started to think about I’ve long assumed that comedy’s basically a numbers game. More laughs means you had a better set. More followers means you’ll have more opportunities. More people liking my material means I’m heading in the right direction. That thinking makes sense on the surface, but it also creates a strange kind of pressure. What I mean is, when I’ve looked at things that way, it also means I’m subtly looking at every crowd as a test of whether I can get as many people as possible to approve of what I’m saying and doing. The same goes for social posts or blog articles and so on. That’s exhausting!
But I’ve come to the conclusion that while approval and connection can look similar from the stage or from social follows, they’re actually not the same thing at all. For instance, I’ve had nights where audiences laughed consistently from beginning to end (approval), yet nobody seemed particularly invested afterward (no connection). The show ended, people left, and the whole thing felt strangely forgettable. Everyone moved on and went their separate ways just like the encounter I mentioned above. I’ve also had nights where the laughter wasn’t quite as frequent (less approval), but conversations happened afterward and real connections were made. Those two experiences taught me that even though some laughs disappear quickly, some connections continue long after.
Every successful comedian seems to understand this at some level. Jeff Foxworthy connected with blue-collar America. Larry the Cable Guy connected with an audience that recognized itself in his worldview. Jim Gaffigan built material around family life, food, and everyday frustrations that allowed him to connect with exhausted parents. Nate Bargatze found a lane with people who wanted sharp comedy without constant vulgarity and connected with those folks. None of those audiences appeared by accident!!! Each comedian became increasingly clear about who they were.
Now, actually doing that, it’s way harder than it sounds but like most things in life, comedy requires exploration. Over time, the clearer my perspective becomes, the easier it is for certain audiences to connect with me. But the opposite happens, too, because some people simply won’t connect. Now, here’s a golden takeaway I got from all this: Early on, I interpreted a lack of connections as failure but now I think of it more as a consistent revealing of who my material is actually for. That is a HUGE mental shift!
And, ultimately, that’s a good thing. At least, I think it is. But I’ve also been thinking about this for a while and asking questions like Who’s my audience? Who are my people? Where are they? I came to terms a long time ago that not everyone will be a fan of what I do or of me. Like one of my heroes, the Apostle Paul, I’ve come to the realization that it’s not my job to try to please everyone or anyone for that matter. I already have some haters out there. But there are some people who like what I do and appreciate it. I’m trying to find more and more of those people.
I want to find “my” people. I want to find “my” crowd because expecting every audience to respond identically is like expecting every radio station to play the same song all day. That’s just stupid! And the goal, at least for me in all that, isn’t universal appeal, but meaningful connection. Just to be completely honest here, and I can only be honest because I’ve been there and currently am there, I think this is where many comedians get stuck. They chase bigger audiences when what they really need are specific audiences. They want more followers when they need specific followers. They want broader approval when they need clearer identity. Ironically, the pursuit of universal acceptance often produces the exact thing comedians fear most: Becoming forgettable.
The audiences that have supported me most consistently have recognized something familiar in the material. They understood my perspective, connected with my view of the world, and saw a little of themselves inside my jokes. That kind of connection is hard to build, but it lasts much longer than a single laugh. And that’s goal for me right now. I’m not collecting the largest possible audience, but I am becoming clearer on who those people are and how they know they’ve found their comedian. Perhaps I’ll say more about how I’m doing some of that in a future article. For now, however, if you’re seeking to get the attention of everyone, stop wasting your time and energy. Focus on who you are so you can figure out who your people are. Then connect and move forward together.
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