When Other Comedians Succeed
Handling Comparison, Confronting Fear (Comedy Mindhacks #64)
I recently watched a comedian I know explode on social media. The initial reaction? That’s amazing! BUT…I know an older, less mature version of me might’ve been jealous, perhaps envious. Over the years, however, I’ve learned to a) be genuinely happy for others’ success; b) view others’ successes as data, not my defeat; and, c) see others’ successes as a gift to me, a gift that shows me how, in some way, the world works. Living this way, especially in the cutthroat world of stand-up comedy, often goes against the grain.
As I’ve written about before, comparison is dangerous. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s true. Comparison breeds resentment and jealousy. But observation? Learning from others? Seeing someone else’s success as a gift? That’s different. So, instead of hating on them or their success, I work differently. I take notes. I ask questions. And more importantly, I refuse to engage in bitterness.
So, I wrote to that comedian. I congratulated him genuinely. And even though he’s younger than me, I asked him to coach me. He wrote back with half-a-dozen tips and offered them freely. Boom! It became a learning experience instead of a spiral. It became a connection instead of a feud. It became joy instead of jealousy. It became a moment of greater maturity instead of madness. It’s just another reminder that comparing myself to others rarely yields anything positive.
Even so, it may well be that the gravest danger isn’t comparing myself to others, but comparing my actual self to a hypothetical, better version of myself. But guess what? That hypothetical me doesn’t exist. That “better me” is a mirage. It’s not reality. And ultimately, that mirage or phantom me has to die so I can embrace the life I actually have. I can’t compare my reality to someone else’s and I definitely can’t compare it to a fantasy of what I “should” have been (whatever that means).
In fact, when I stopped and looked at my first year of being “online” with my comedy content, the numbers told a story: 4,000+ podcast downloads, nearly 700 YouTube subscribers, 300,000 views, almost 25,000 blog reads, scores of live performances, $2,000+ earned. I’ve been hosting, opening, featuring, and headlining. I’ve been teaching middle- and high-school students comedy. I’ve also been teaching college students joke writing every single week. I will get to teach two more high-school camps in 2026. I started a weekly “comedy club” for college students and, in our first semester, we filmed around a dozen videos and, across social platforms, probably had 20k-30k views. It’s awesome. Looking at those stats alongside others, I had to ask, “Who else is doing all this stuff I’m doing?” Nobody. Me. I’m doing it. This is my lane or, at present, the lane I’m carving out for myself.
And it’s good! I don’t want to spend all my time jockeying for the same few club spots as the masses. So, I spend lots of time creating my own opportunities and doing what I love, whether it’s podcasting, blogging, creating sketches, teaching, or performing. And my scholar-practitioner combo isn’t holding me back. I use it and tap into it as my competitive advantage. And honestly, each comedian has their own advantage, they just have to find it and tap into it.
You see, like many others, I was raised in a context where I was constantly led to compare my current status to a bigger, grander future. And that engine of “more, more, more” can easily attack one’s sense of legitimacy. The antidote? a) Realizing that if I love it, hey, that’s good enough; and, b) Learning to be sincerely and genuinely happy for others’ successes just as much as I am for my own. When I see someone succeeding, I view their good fortune as a gift that shows me how the world works. I take notes and ask questions, but I refuse to engage in bitterness. And that keeps me in a good, healthy, and proper mind space, which is why it’s a great comedy mindhack.
JOKE WRITING COURSE: By the way, if you have any interest at all in learning about your persona, how to write some jokes, or doing stand-up comedy, check out my online joke writing course, “The Joke Writer’s Lab,” HERE.