When I first tried stand-up comedy, it was never supposed to go anywhere. It was just a bucket list item, something I thought I would try once and then move on from. I had no long-term plans and honestly, I had been avoiding it for years. Why? The idea of bombing in front of a crowd was absolutely terrifying. I had done about 100 conference papers, given a TEDx Talk, preached thousands of sermons, etc., but was terrified of comedy due to the fear of bombing. But what was under that fear is I just didn’t know what I was doing.
Anyway…eventually, I got on stage for the first time at a showcase. After the show, several people told me I had been the best act that night. Of course, they were all family and friends. Lol. But I got laughs! And that gave me a sense of external validation. And it was enough to pull me back. I kept going. As with many things in life, it’s easy to get caught up in chasing validation and it’s no different in comedy: chasing validation from peers, bookers, audience members, social interactions, and so on.
Over time, though, I stopped with all that. Chasing clout and validation is exhausting. What keeps me in comedy now is much more internal and is actually what got me to love it in the first place: I genuinely enjoy the challenge of creating a joke, structuring a bit, and putting together a set. That process is rewarding in and of itself. To do that is immensely gratifying. Just to write a single joke from start to finish that actually works comes with a great sense of accomplishment.
I’ve thought a lot about motivation over the years, especially because I’ve been a coach and, for decades, have been teaching. I’ve also presented on the topic at academic conferences. Here’s a key takeaway: motivation can be intrinsic or extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within. It’s driven by curiosity, interest, and a personal desire to improve or explore. That kind of motivation is deeply satisfying because it connects to something you value internally. It lasts.
Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is about rewards that come from outside. It’s applause, praise, money, clout, or social media engagement. The problem is that those rewards are fleeting. They disappear the moment they arrive. Intrinsic motivation is more sustainable. It gives you a deeper reason to keep creating, even when there’s no immediate payoff. I had a booker tell me just yesterday, “I’d love to bring you to my venue, but know that, right now, there’s not really money in it.” Well, not that I like doing everything for free, especially traveling, but that’s not my main motivation.
I’m not saying I haven’t chased external rewards. I have. I’ve applied, for instance, to festivals. I’ve paid the fees, waited weeks or months for responses, then received rejection emails. That process is exhausting. It costs time, money, and emotional energy. It’s a major letdown to be passed over for lineups or to struggle to land a venue. The cumulative effect of those experiences can be deflating.
When you’re motivated primarily by external outcomes, every failure hits harder. You start to question whether it’s worth continuing. That’s why I believe so strongly in keeping the focus on intrinsic motivators. Personal growth and internal satisfaction are what allow you to persist when the external world isn’t giving you anything in return. There was a moment that really solidified this mindset for me. A major booker in my city told me directly that she wouldn’t book me because I’m a Christian. That kind of discrimination could have derailed me completely. But instead of letting it upset me or define my path, I decided to move on.
I thought to myself, her loss. I redirected my energy toward creating my own opportunities. I kept collaborating with others anyway and continue building community wherever I can. And I’ve also discovered that helping and connecting people is often just as fulfilling as performing. That takes a shift in focus and thought. And it’s a shift that’s carried me through some hard times. It reminds me that I don’t need to wait for someone else to give me permission to succeed.
And that’s also why, when I hit slow seasons or feel burned out, I stick to a set of habits that keep me grounded. I observe the world around me. I write notes and jokes. I podcast. I mentor students. I meet with peers. I book shows and reach out to venues. I make connections. In short, I keep creating. That creative process itself brings me satisfaction. If people enjoy what I produce, that’s a bonus. But the real value is in the act of making something. That’s where I find a lot of fulfilment, and it’s what helps me stay motivated even when things are not going particularly well.
For newer comedians who are struggling to stay motivated, especially those chasing likes, shares, or stage time, my advice is simple: chasing validation is easy, but it will lead you nowhere. There is gatekeeping in comedy, and recognition is inconsistent. Everyone has different standards, and you will never meet them all. Social media only adds to the noise.
It’s easy to get frustrated when you feel like you are doing good work and no one is responding. The only way to survive that cycle is to flip your mindset. You have to remember that you are creating because you want to create and because you need to create. I write so I can learn. I podcast so I can learn and connect. These things help me grow. If others find value in what I make, that is great. If not, that’s fine too. I do it because it matters to me.
Comedy is a long journey. Some nights the crowd will love you. Other nights, they won’t. That’s just how it goes. But if your motivation lives inside you, if it comes from your own curiosity and commitment to the craft, then you will have what you need to keep going. And in the end, that’s what really matters. This is a great mindhack and, if you can find it in you to flip that switch, you may start to see stand-up and all that comes with it, in a very different light.
By the way, if you have any interest at all in learning to write some jokes or doing stand-up comedy, check out my online joke writing course, “The Joke Writer’s Lab,” HERE.