Women’s Basketball Team Forfeits Before Tip-Off, Sparks DEI Controversy
(Fake News Weekly - MichaelHalcomb.Live)
BURLINGTON, VT—In a groundbreaking decision sparking controversy among DEI advocates, a women’s college basketball team forfeited their match before the tip-off, citing the overwhelming odds of competing against an opponent with a transgender athlete. Team captain Sarah Ross explained, “We knew we didn’t stand a chance after losing the coin toss to a trans athlete. It’s like gravity doesn’t even apply to they/them. It’s just not fair!” Ross lamented that “when the coin hit the floor, we knew the laws of physics had already taken a side.” The officiating crew defended the toss, explaining it was a regulation coin, but, much like the trans athlete, they had trouble deciding what was what—male/female, heads/tails. Demoralized, Ross and her teammates filed a grievance to ban coin tosses entirely, claiming they “discriminate against digital natives, who struggle with archaic physical currency and don’t even know how coins work.”