This Comedy Habit Kills 50% Of My Stress
Turning Meltdowns Into Laugh Tracks (Comedy Mindhacks #37)
Yesterday, I was running late to one of my son’s soccer games. It was pouring rain. I had on rain boots and a raincoat and was ready to go. The only problem was I couldn’t find my other son. He was supposed to go with me. So, I went to the car, opened the garage door, and there he was. He was standing in the driveway, in the rain, filling his shoes with dish soap and hosing them off.
His shoes were stinky, soaked, and grassy from P.E. at school earlier, and he had decided, two minutes before we had to leave, that this was the right moment to do a deep clean. Just perfect! He got in the car with soap suds in his hair and all over his arms. He also had on flip flops and toe socks. What he didn’t have on: a raincoat. I was irritated because he’d made me late already and him being wet, soapy, without a raincoat, and sporting toe socks in flip flops…it just did me in. A bit stressed and frustrated, I snapped at him.
I ended up turning around and leaving him at home. In all honesty, it definitely wasn’t my best parenting moment. But hours later, something else happened. At the dinner table, I started seeing the whole thing differently when I told my wife and other son about it. As I was telling the story, they were laughing out loud. And, in that moment, Boom!, a thought hit me: pay attention to laugh track moments!
What I mean is: if what I was saying had been a script for TV show, my wife’s and son’s laughs would’ve been the laugh track moments. There were many: me hurriedly searching for him, the dramatic reveal as the garage door lifted, the suds, the socks, the ridiculous timing. While I was telling the story, they started laughing then we all did.
That same moment that had pushed me into fight or flight earlier in the day had, around the dinner table, turned into one of the biggest laughs of the day. Now, I wish I could have reframed it in the moment when I was upset instead of yelling at him. I’m working on that. But even the ability to reframe it later felt like progress.
But this is precisely why my personal comedy motto is “Laughter Is Greater Than Outrage.” (Laughter > Outrage.) It’s not some big fancy philosophy. It’s more of a note to self that I’m sharing with others. It’s a reminder that when things go sideways, I can either lose my mind or find the joke. It’s how I move from fight or flight to funny. And honestly, it’s just a better way to do life. Way better.
The more I nurture this habit, the more I keep stress at bay or in check, perhaps even by half. Basically, it’s just another type of cognitive reframing (for more on “framing,” see HERE). The thing about this kind of reframing though, is it’s not the polished, self-help, Dr. Phil kind. It’s messier. But that’s also why I think it’s more natural and more human.
Now, before you say, “So, what you just go around pretending a bad situation is good?” let me emphatically say, “No!” This builds on another topic I’ve written about before, a kernel of wisdom when it comes to stand-up: find the unusual thing (HERE). When something stressful happens, I allow myself feel it fully. I don’t shrug off the irritation or keep the anger at arm’s length. I feel the weight. Then, once the wave of frustration passes, I challenge myself to spot the comedy. I ask a question based on what I alluded to above. And this one silly question is literally changing how I experience life: “If this happened to a character in a sitcom, where would the laugh track go?”
You see, there’s nothing wrong with feeling stress. In fact, it seems an inevitable and perhaps even essential part of life. And at some level, stress kinda means you care. The trap is letting that stress become your default setting. Why? Because when your body floods with cortisol, your pulse spikes, and your nervous system tightens. That’s when you start to feel cornered.
But then…when a genuine laugh slips through, that’s when and where everything shifts. Endorphins flood in, your heart rate slows, your perspective widens, and this comedy reframe doesn’t just change your mood, it changes your chemistry. In time, it can change your life. Sadly, some people think laughing at hard situations means you’re avoiding them or not taking them seriously. While some people might operate that way, I don’t.
In my view, what’s really great about considering life experiences in this way is that it gives you a chance to revisit things with clarity. And with that clarity you can do some revising and turn your horror story into a funny joke because you’re seeking out the laugh tracks. You’re not acting as though the moment wasn’t painful. It was. You’re able to do this because you survived it. You made it through and now you have the power to decide how to speak about what happened.
Honestly, this seemingly silly habit has started to change the way I relate to the people around me. In our house, for instance, there’s more laughter even during hard conversations. Recently, our family was talking about something very heavy. It could have stayed tense and serious. But someone made a statement, I reframed it, knew exactly where the laugh track would go, and made a joke. Before we knew it, we were laughing together. Even in that instance, humor didn’t erase the hard stuff. It simply let each of us carry it with a little less weight.
Over the past eight months or so, I’ve been writing a series of comedy mindhacks like this one, which is #37. I love writing these more than other posts because they keep me thinking about ways to reset my mental and/or emotional state. One of my favorites, which I just wrote about several weeks ago HERE, is this question: “Will this matter in twenty years? Will anyone even remember it?”
If the answer is no, I try to let it go now instead of wasting twenty years or even a few more hours thinking about it. That simple concept has also helped me become a better father, husband, educator, Christian, and comedian. Life is stressful. It always will be. But I’m learning that the sooner I can shift the story from tension to comedy, the sooner I get to enjoy the ride. Even if I’m sitting in the car with a soaking wet kid covered in soap suds.
Hey, by the way, if you have any interest at all in learning to write some jokes or doing stand-up comedy, after you subscribe below, you should also check out my online joke writing course, “The Joke Writer’s Lab,” HERE.